There are those controlled and there are those who control. When one attempts to understand freedom, one must admit that freedom is not merely the lack of being controlled, but rather freedom is, in part at least, manipulation and dominance. When one thinks about what would make a person free, that feeling of wild possibility - something that would allow them to do as they please - one must consider that the manipulation of resource, the control over other human beings, the freedom from servitude to others are themselves forms of dominance and control. They are possibilities, the kind of doing what one pleases. The question then becomes what is freedom if it is bound up with control in that sense. The notion of freedom is naturally more complicated than I state here, but that controlling dominance and freedom are one disturbs good sensibility.
My friend is the one responsible, I suspect. There is a lack between seeming opposites that produces the paradoxical.