Steve Says.jpg

Steve Says

Somehow, there has been some kind of misunderstanding. It has been some time since he has made any public declaration, but Steve reiterates - because there has been so much fuss on social media - that there are other foodstuffs besides cheese, what he enjoys. Everyone now thinks that he wants only cheese, because everyone is listening to every minuscule thought that Steve produces. He thinks it may be because this guy, Kirk, has been writing about cheese and only about cheese and Kirk has not understood that Steve is more than a one-dimensional animal. There are plenty of other foods that are stuff that Steve desires and of which Steve approves. For example, Steve approves of fresh, moist chicken breast. He also approves of the small squares that Kirk distributes, whatever one calls them (he doesn't give a shit what the name is., actually). They seem addictive, somehow. Steve also approves of the green-stemmed object that Kirk brought into the living-space. It has chewable palms on it, which taste great. Sometimes, Steve is suddenly wet when he chews on the palms (he suspects Kirk has something to do with that, the fucker), and he feels a bit nauseous and sometimes he vomits when he chews on the palms, but that's alright (Kirk seems to feel obligated to wipe it off the floor, but it could every bit just as well have stayed there, dried and become part of the household decoration). Steve also enjoys dairy of any kind, especially milk. He supposes that milk is just unsolidified cheese, so that may not count so much. Anyways, Steve will try anything, really, and he wants his fans to know that he enjoys their attention and the treats they send. But don't send sweet potatoes, whatever you do. Those things are nasty!

And, anyway, Steve says he's back. And...he has a lot to say. And...he's feeling drowsy now. He needs a nap.