A Common Ailment

I told you that I would relate the story of my absence and of the most incredible pain. Today, I will tell you, attempting to keep the story brief.

On a Thursday morning during the last portion of my winter break I felt a movement near my stomach, on the inside of my body. It felt as if someone took a small stick and ran it lightly across my skin. The sensation was uncommon, but I did not think much of it. I moved around quickly in my living-space, as I ordinarily do, and as suddenly as I moved I felt a keener pain, a strong sensation that resounded in my viscera - growing sharper and more terrible by the moment.

I thought I knew what it was.

I was unable to move very far after a time; I could not think or read; I was unable even to find a comfortable enough position to lie on my futon in order to rest and wait for the magnificent agony to cease. I waited for a time, vainly hoping that the situation would change, but decided to call my doctor. I was unable to speak to her, but some assistant of some kind took pity on me, or charged me I do not yet know which, and explained to me what was the case. I knew that I could simply wait and not spend over $2500 on an emergency room visit, but as the hours passed, the pain genuinely reached the point of agony. I wanted only to rest, to forget and awaken in some at least better state.

My body and ailment did not permit it.

I resigned myself to an Uber ride to the closest emergency room, expecting that I would be able to obtain pain medication quickly, but the room was filled with pathetic and grieving humans. The nurse explained that my wait could be as long as four hours. I had nowhere to go, and the pain was so great that I resigned to sitting in a wheelchair slumped over onto the side. Every so often I could not bear the agony and I arose. I walked about for a bit, hoping to shift the now exquisite pain around my body enough to make it tolerable.

Alas, no.

Repeating this condition, I waited for five hours, occasionally asking the nurse how much more time my wait would continue. One nurse told me that there were four patients ahead of me. I counted them, of course, and when I again asked, explaining that five patients had already entered, another nurse pointed out how they had not read the screen properly.

The situation would not have been intolerable, but as I sat trying to distract myself I realized that there was precisely no-one who would come to assist. An ex girlfriend expressed sympathy, but would not come. My one remaining parent did not answer her phone. The pain was so great that I thought it would never end. In that state and set of circumstances I waited for another five hours, incredibly. When I finally entered the blessed holy land of the emergency room, I waited again for a doctor to arrive. They set an IV in my arm and injected morphine into my system. I thought that I would be relieved of pain soon, since I ingest nothing more than water with lemon juice and mostly organic vegetables into my system, not even any caffeinated drink and some occasional chocolate. I never take drugs of any kind, unless forced.

Yet the morphine did not help.

The nurse finally gave me more morphine and the pain subsided for approximately forty-five minutes. Then, the doctor entered, explaining that he needed to see inside my body; he later explained what was the malady.

I already knew, of course.

When the nurses had given me - finally - enough painkiller to sleep, I rested for the first time in at least fourteen hours, though I was not able to think enough to know how much time had passed. The doctor explained to me that the problem would pass in no more than eight hours when the nurses guided me to the sliding exit door. I had with me several kinds of medication and I needed to obtain still more, but besides the painkiller the medications did me little good. One caused more symptoms. Another twenty-eight or so hours passed before the pain subsided enough that I was able to quit taking the painkillers. The experience wasted four days of my time and I will owe at least a few thousand dollars. A special bonus is that the situation will most probably repeat in a few years, and occasionally I feel a soreness in that region of my body. That is why I have been away.

You were there, my friend, but as usual and in your ordinary habit you were dressed to do nothing. You are the only one who will assist when the occasion comes again. I would thank you, but you have no care, and I need to get to writing another work that only you will read.